7 Lessons From a 20-Something-Year-Old

Birthday depression calls for birthday reflection

When I browse the sea of white hair at the symphony or the ballet, I try to imagine what the lives of these strangers were like when they were my age: How graceful her gait must’ve been when she could stand up straight, or how handsome his hands must’ve been when they were spotless. Don’t get me wrong, age doesn’t erode their charm or elegance, but many exude nostalgia about their lost years (much like how parents look at old family photos and go, that felt like yesterday).

Bottles Brush Trees, Jian Chong Min, 1990

Birthdays make me melancholic because they remind me that life is a horizontal fall. And what better time for an honest reflection on the things I’ve learned this year?

1) You can accept something without understanding it.

There comes a day when the generational difference between you and your parents suddenly becomes crystal clear and you have to make peace with the fact that some parts of them that will never change. They were raised by their times and you were raised by yours. When differences can not be smoothed out between two people, the best way to love someone is to accept them without forcing them to understand you or forcing yourself to understand them.