Heartbreak

You broke up. You thought you were going to die. To your surprise, you didn't. What happens after you get hurt?

Coming down

When astronauts return from space, they are carried out of their capsule because the full effect of Earth’s gravity, felt instantaneously upon landing, is strong enough to break bones. After months of floating in zero-G, your muscles atrophy, bone density drops, fluids redistribute, and your balance and sense of spacial orientation recalibrate. It takes time for the body to readjust to what used to be normal.

Heartbreak feels a lot like coming back down to Earth because falling in love is akin to taking flight:

Known to many by his Latin name only, Cupid (desire), the Greeks called the god of love Eros and often portrayed him as a handsome young man with rosy skin and large, lovely wings. The Greeks visualized this feeling of love by adding “pt” to “eros”, forming “pteros”, meaning “wing”:

We take flight when we surrender to romance, letting it take us from over here to over there. Longing for someone is an invitation for us to travel from the status quo to a new world; perhaps, the reason why eroticism can be thrilling, embarrassing, or repulsive to talk about is because it offers us adventure — one of novelty and danger.

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“Cupid and Psyche” at the Belvedere Museum in Vienna, from my camera roll

And so, when Eros drops us from a height and we fall back down, everything feels heavy. The most menial tasks take a long time. Like an astronaut returning home, it takes time to adjust to how things used to be.

What can be done?

Children as young as the age of three have a sense of justice and intercede when they witness someone being victimized. It’s no wonder so much of our world is set up in a way that promises fairness — contracts, bill of rights, so on. When we are wronged, we know who to call and how to make things right. When we get robbed, we call the police. When an employer takes advantage of us, we hire a lawyer.

But what about matters of the heart? Who do we call when our feelings have been wronged? Where do we turn when our heart has been mistreated? When our imagination has been hijacked? Our dreams stolen?

When it comes to heartbreak, we’re on our own.