Lovelessness is the Cause of Insecurity

Like a plant needs water

To constantly live in the eyes of others is a form of torment.

If we tell a joke and they laugh, our egos get a boost and we grow confident in our likeability, “I’m a fun person, people enjoy being around me.”

If we go to greet our coworkers and they give us the side eye — maybe because they had a bad morning at home — we suddenly question if we did something wrong, and our self-esteem spirals into a whirlwind of self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness.

Q train by Nigel van Wieck

Ideally, we do not want our self-worth to be tied to how others think of us, ridicule us, judge us, praise us, or admire us.

That’s why a majority of self-help psychology is centered around self-discovery: our deepest desire is to be free from the pointing, nagging, and insincere smooching of the world by becoming a fair assessor of our own strengths and weaknesses.

Feeling deeply insecure is a sign of not having been shown enough love:

When we are insecure, we over-care about how …