Modern Dating Needs to Prioritize Compatibility

Compatibility is more important than chemistry and similarity when it comes to love

Modern dating is a new phenomenon. In Eastern cultures, romantic unions were traditionally arranged by matchmakers and limited by socioeconomic boundaries. Even in the West, marriages were dictated by clergymen and parents before more liberated forms of courtship took place (e.g., Jane Austen). The biggest change dating has brought is freedom: it has enabled and encouraged people to customize their search for what they want, even if one doesn’t know what’s best for themselves. Do we vibe? See a future together? Otherwise, it’s ‘thank you, next.’

I asked my town square what they thought was most important for a relationship. The results were epically tied:

My poll

Let’s take a look at the old-school ways for a second: it tells us that the best match is one that prioritizes interpersonal fit and not sappy romance. Sure, we had less personal say in the days of arranged marriages, and gooey fairytale fantasies definitely feel amazing, but they are not what gives relationships longevity.

When …