It's funny how the free stuff brings me so much more peace and contentment than the big purchases. The spike of dopamine that I get from a new toy comes and goes within a day or two, but a quiet evening at the beach or a hike in the mountains can calm my nerves and bring me a lasting sense of tranquility that no amount of money can buy.
If I were to define how much money one needs to be happy, I’d say what’s enough to satisfy (1) basic human needs + (2) rational desires such as a painting workshop, cooking courses, or anything else our curiosity leads.
These rational desires provide genuine happiness not because the purchase itself, but rather as an act of self-love to follow a passion. Nevertheless, they do need some money to be covered. Past that point, happiness can’t be bought so much.
I think the simple proof of this is Buddhist monks. If you can be happy with almost no worldly pleasures, then clearly money is not the primary issue.
It definitely solves a lot of problems, but if you can pay more attention to your mind and to the relationships in your life, that's probably almost always more impactful.
I feel and think similarly to you regarding money . I don’t think I’ve ever yearned to be ‘ rich’ and most of the things that give me happiness come from some feeling which is derivative of connection , expression, discovery or progress. However , when I hear stories of or am around people who do prioritise money I feel compelled to put their value system above mine , and thus feel insecure about not caring much about money . I feel this weird compulsion to give them extra respect ?
I’d love to know how to defeat this compulsion …. If you have any tips please share ! I guess it’s about the common problem of not comparing your lifestyle and priorities to those of others ( hardest thing in the world 🥲)
Great points Sherry that directly relate to our states of perceived happiness and how we make "errors" of how we think we will feel with materialistic stuff versus experiences. Experiences always win in the long run, lead to less hedonic adaptation, and can even be "recalled" for happiness boosts.
At the same time though, more potential resources open more opportunities for experiences. Plus, financial health, especially for "fixing" short-term problems people face (e.g. health, bills), as well as for long-term security, is extremely important.
I would love to read what you think how we can find a better balance between the two?
Thanks for this great essay Sherry. The message you’re sharing is so important, it’s a fantastic reality check. I love that you bring the value of mindfulness and staying present to true wealth.
“We buy lambskin oxfords when it’s honor and admiration we crave. We purchase aperitifs when we’re actually looking for friends we can share jokes and secrets with…” hard agree! What we want is often not the thing itself, but what the thing symbolises
It's funny how the free stuff brings me so much more peace and contentment than the big purchases. The spike of dopamine that I get from a new toy comes and goes within a day or two, but a quiet evening at the beach or a hike in the mountains can calm my nerves and bring me a lasting sense of tranquility that no amount of money can buy.
Beautiful. It's the feeling not the thing. Don't mistake money for wealth and the menu for food. ❤️
If I were to define how much money one needs to be happy, I’d say what’s enough to satisfy (1) basic human needs + (2) rational desires such as a painting workshop, cooking courses, or anything else our curiosity leads.
These rational desires provide genuine happiness not because the purchase itself, but rather as an act of self-love to follow a passion. Nevertheless, they do need some money to be covered. Past that point, happiness can’t be bought so much.
Loved this essay, Sherry.
I think the simple proof of this is Buddhist monks. If you can be happy with almost no worldly pleasures, then clearly money is not the primary issue.
It definitely solves a lot of problems, but if you can pay more attention to your mind and to the relationships in your life, that's probably almost always more impactful.
I feel and think similarly to you regarding money . I don’t think I’ve ever yearned to be ‘ rich’ and most of the things that give me happiness come from some feeling which is derivative of connection , expression, discovery or progress. However , when I hear stories of or am around people who do prioritise money I feel compelled to put their value system above mine , and thus feel insecure about not caring much about money . I feel this weird compulsion to give them extra respect ?
I’d love to know how to defeat this compulsion …. If you have any tips please share ! I guess it’s about the common problem of not comparing your lifestyle and priorities to those of others ( hardest thing in the world 🥲)
I love this essay so much. Thank you for this
Great points Sherry that directly relate to our states of perceived happiness and how we make "errors" of how we think we will feel with materialistic stuff versus experiences. Experiences always win in the long run, lead to less hedonic adaptation, and can even be "recalled" for happiness boosts.
At the same time though, more potential resources open more opportunities for experiences. Plus, financial health, especially for "fixing" short-term problems people face (e.g. health, bills), as well as for long-term security, is extremely important.
I would love to read what you think how we can find a better balance between the two?
Thanks for this great essay Sherry. The message you’re sharing is so important, it’s a fantastic reality check. I love that you bring the value of mindfulness and staying present to true wealth.
Well said points.
“We buy lambskin oxfords when it’s honor and admiration we crave. We purchase aperitifs when we’re actually looking for friends we can share jokes and secrets with…” hard agree! What we want is often not the thing itself, but what the thing symbolises
Agreed. And there's also something amazingly powerful about having "mastered" money and your needs. As one dead president said:
“There is no dignity
quite so impressive,
and no independence
quite so important,
as living within your means.”
― Calvin Coolidge